I’ve given my blog this title because it feels like I’m living in a nightmare and am desperate to wake up. I don’t know if I will ever wake up and if I do, what life will look like.

My son is in intensive care and has been for two weeks. I’m dizzy with questions and uncertainty about why he is so ill and how life has been so cruel to Woody yet again.

I plan to use this blog to help me manage my thoughts and emotions. Without writing it all down, I think I may get crushed by the weight of what I feel.

But I also want this to be open for friends (and strangers) to read because it’s real. This is what my life is like right now and this is how I feel. Please come closer and I’ll tell you more.

Here is a sunflower that I planted a while ago in a pot. I put it into the ground just the other day and every single morning, I marvel at how much it has grown overnight. This sunflower represents the hope I am clinging to.